Making a move

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Day 123: The tapeworm is back...

The PMS tapeworm is back.

I ate pretty reasonably all day long, and then the afternoon hit and so did my chocolate craving... again.

The older I get the worse the PMS becomes. From the grumpiness to the cravings and the tapeworm it's getting bad.

Yesterday my sweet tooth kicked in and all I wanted was a piece of delicious confectionary delight, but all I had in the wallet was a $20 bill which meant I had to go on a scavenger hunt.

I took a look back on the Cheerleader's desk and saw a bag of chocolate covered pomegranate seeds... jackpot!

I snapped it up, but as soon as I grabbed it I realized something was wrong. I opened it up and it was empty.

There wasn't even so much as a crumble of chocolate inside that bag. I swear she licked it clean, and if I know her... I'm pretty sure she did.

Today I was pretty much in the same boat, with the exception of the 55 cents in my wallet. Not enough for chocolate but combined with the change in my desk drawer I could squeeze out a Diet Dr. Pepper which would have to do.

I walked back to my desk and saw another co-worker who always has a sweet tooth. I knew she had candy... I stalked her like a rabid dog and thankfully she let me dig in. 2 mini-snickers did the trick.

But by the time I was heading home the tapeworm was back. I needed food and a lot of it... pronto!

I stopped by Outback Steakhouse, and ordered my steak dinner. Filet, baked potato, salad and mini-lobster tails and I downed it all... along with a few glasses of wine left by one of the guests on the show.



All in all a good night, until I checked my mail.

I opened a letter from the company that manages our timecards and vacation benefits. It was a notice that my medical insurance ended at the end of the year.

What?! They mailed me an insurance card for the new year what was all of this about??

Then I remembered back to last week when I suddenly lost access to some of our shared files at work, and the personal folders in my email.

I immediately called the IT department and they came over to check things out. Evidently someone else at the company with the same last name was let go and they shut off my accounts by mistake.

Could they be related? The date on the letter corresponded to the date of her firing.

Perfect. It's exactly what you want to hear a day before your first ever ski trip.

I think I need more chocolate to deal with this.

Day 124: The Party Girl

I am the party girl.

I'm meeting the BFF and Perky for happy hour.

Perky is allergic to alcohol, and the BFF doesn't drink, leaving me as the sole imbiber at our happy hours and it has turned into a running joke.

Perky is all consumed by the culinary delights, and the BFF is ambivalent.

On several occasions when we are planning where to go, it has come up... 'let's find a place with cheap food, you can drink enough for all of us to make up for it.'

Perfect. At one point I believe someone even said 'your the lush of the group'.... wow... what a great group of friends!

I am, in fact, the one who is drinking at our dinners, usually because work or some other project has pushed me to the point of needing the sweet nectar of the gods to relax me.

I guess I am my mother's daughter. The family likes to give her a hard time for having a whiskey and 7 when she gets home from work. It's one drink, but it's become the running joke in our family... so much so my dad will get her wine or whiskey as a Christmas gift.

After 50 + years of marriage I suppose you do also run out of gift inspiration.

Happy hour was just that... happy! We gorged on all kids of food, which is par for the course with Perky in the house. She is small but mighty and boy can she pack it in! Maybe even more than me and today especially so.

She is starting her workout tomorrow and that means her first weigh in. Her plan was to load up on carbs and other goodies so she can make a good impression at her next weigh in. A girl after my own heart... you gotta love it!

We ate like low budget queens... chips and cheese dip... baked goat cheese... spring rolls... sliders... topped off with a salad. Yes... a salad... and then dessert. We were a little out of control.

We talked about everything from balancing our checkbooks to twitter, ex-boyfriends with Guns n Roses tattoos (not my ex thank God), to my ski trip.

It was a good time. I am a lucky, lucky girl on so many levels and for so many reasons.

Day 125: Trifecta of girlie goodness

Grumpy girl needs a vacation.

The day started with a marathon on the snooze button and a guest who decided they didn't want to be on the show because the experience didn't fit their guidelines.

Whoa... the last time I checked I was the master of that domain, but I guess not.

So I was grumpy... and holding grudge.... and I'm guessing based off my reactions to so many other things.. I'm also PMS-ing.

I mentioned the HR director's voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard and the Cheerleader decided yes I am definitely hormonal.

She is also planning an impromptu ski trip and she and I are the only 2 going.

It started as an invite for 7 people but has ended up just the 2 of us.

I've never been skiing but am excited, nervous, not to mention a little freaked out and scared.

I broke my leg getting out of bed when I was 13, I'm not sure skiing at 39 is a good idea, but I'm willing to try because what's a broken bone? I have insurance, and I'm sure they have cute paramedics right?

All day I was juggling the full time job and the part time project that is turning into a full time job, pulling my hair out because one was pulling me away from the other and I was getting nothing accomplished with either.

Frustration set in and I was happy when my work day was done and I could head home.

I had planned to go to a reunion with my friends of Girlfriend University, but instead ended up putting out a few fires with my first ever commercial.

By the time I was done, I was ready to call it quits. I am pretty much done with commercials after this one project.... but I am smart enough to know to say never say never.

I made it home and through hours of commercial producing hell tonight, and here I sit, wine glass in one hand... chocolate in the other.... total drama and chick shows on the tv... .and sheer happiness.

There's just something comforting about the trifecta of girlie goodness.

Day 126: Match Misfortune

At work today it was a revolving door of men from match.com.

The Coffee Fairy kept sending me pictures of men who have expressed interest in her.

She is so hysterical, every picture had it's own commentary... the news anchor with his work photo.... Crocodile Dundee.... and some required none... their usernames and their photos said it all.. like 'Gentle Giant' who is a big muscle bound hunk of a man who looked like he had professional photos taken.

Another only had one photo on the profile and there were 4 people in it, one of them was a woman another a white haired elderly man. 'Which one do you think it is?' she added.

I was secretly hoping it was the old man in the back who kind of looked like he wasn't even part of the group but just decided to hop into the photo as a joke.

It was so funny I was laughing out loud at my desk, probably causing a major distraction for all of my co-workers.

The day was full of dating disasters... from the match.com photos to all of us repeatedly making fun of the fireworks girl from the Bachelor the night before.

When I got home I don't know what I was thinking, but I decided to check out match.com for myself.

It is how I met Mr. Wonderful, and I've been contemplating going signing up for the virtual dates, but I haven't really been able to psych myself up for writing the profile.

I mentioned it to the Coffee Fairy and she suggested I invite some friends over and have them write the profile for me over a few bottles of wine.

Now that I'd be up for.... if I could sit in the corner and drink while all of the besties did the heavy lifting, it could really work! Except for the keeping up with all the pesky emails, winks, nods, and whatever else they do on there now.

Then there is finding time to work it into my uber busy schedule right now. I would really want someone to do that for me too... LOL.

Ok maybe not. I kind of like being the master of my own destiny, its the control freak in me.

But, I was slightly intrigued by the idea so I decided to hop online with my old username and just see what my dating pool looks like.

To say it's shallow and murky would be an understatement.

I immediately did a search of guys 36 - 43 within a 25 mile radius, admittedly not a huge age range but one I am comfortable with so what the heck.

I scrolled down the page, and my general impression was pretty much... meh?

There was no one that even remotely interested me.

The further I scrolled the more discouraged I became.... some looked old, others young party boys, there were the guys who are probably still living with their mothers, and on and on.... then I ran across a picture that may haunt me for a while.

It was a guy I dated 8 years ago! I met him on match.com after the demise of my relationship with Shithead.

He was a total meathead from New Jersey waaaaay before it was the cool thing to be. I don't even know what I was thinking, outside of just getting back at Shithead, which is not a good reason to date.

Aaahhh young and stupid, and a great reminder... or maybe a sign that match.com is not in my future.

Day 127: Do the cats know something I don't?

What am I doing?

This commercial is exhausting. Perhaps I should say working with 4 other people, trying to communicate and schedule in between full time jobs, is exhausting.

Between my job, and all of this extra work, not to mention my social life I'm ready to explode!

Not that I'm complaining, having all of this on my resume is good, but where will it get me in life? I'm certainly no happier right now, and at last check I was still single.

Unless I meet and fall in love with a customer, doing all this extra work isn't exactly helping me. It's burning me out, but I am learning as I go.

I put on my big girl panties today and addressed the payment issue. There was a minor speed bump but we managed to get through it and my check is on the way.

At the full time job, one of the hottie chefs came on the show today. I always look forward to his visits, and it's been a while since I've seen him and he was as cute as ever.

Anytime he's around I act like a bumbling idiot. I can't form a coherent sentence, or I say the same thing over and over again. I'm either Rainman or speaking in tongues... now THAT'S attractive.

I heard a while back he is a bit of a womanizer so I backed off from the flirting, but I always wonder in the back of my brain if he's single... and if he's changed his ways, or if I can help him change his ways.

You know... kind of like how some women hope to turn gay boys straight... I kind of compare it to that.

Not that a 'player' can't eventually settle down, but I'm not sure I'm secure enough to be with that guy. Always wondering in the back of my brain if he's going to revert back to his old ways.

One of the girls at work knows I'm interested, and started chatting him up. She's married so she can flirt all she want without repercussion, better yet, she can ask those burning personal questions.

I walked over today to get him in place for his appearance and I heard her say 'so what are you waiting for? your not getting any younger? You want kids right? Are you afraid of commitment or something?'

Uh yeah she did.... this would be the reason I hesitate to have her meet any guy I'm dating unless they are the pinnacle of success and professionalism. She's brutal!

I'd hate to be her kids when it comes time to bring home their dates... yikes!

But she did find out that he's been in a relationship for a while and they are just 'having fun' so no need to put a label on it... yep... I'm done.

His recipe was way too complicated to attempt at home so I decided to eat some of the healthy leftover food in my fridge from my failed 3 day diet.

I pulled out a chicken breast I bought a week ago. I'm not one who eats a lot of chicken normally... and I'm certainly not someone who cooks a lot so I wasn't sure it was still good, but I figured it was worth a shot.

What's the worst that could happen right?

I texted the Pixie and she said it was fine, but I needed to cook it tonight, so I jazzed it up a bit and threw it in the oven.

When I was done eating it one of my cats came over and gave me a weird look. The pupils of his eyes were big and black and he was staring at me.

Then he jumped on the couch and got right up to my face and then backed away. I had a minor freak out. Did he know something I didn't? Did I just eat salmonella laced chicken??

They say animals have that weird sense about them.... they know when bad weather is going to hit, could he know something awful was about to happen to me?

Meh? I doubt it, but if I wake up in the middle of the night with shooting pains in my stomach I'm really going to start to wonder.

The way they are looking at me tonight makes me wonder if they think I am the foreign one in their home, instead of me allowing them to live in MY home.

Who is the caged animal? I think it's me... caged by my life at the moment at least.

Day 128: My first commercial

Today is the big day. It's the day we're shooting my very first commercial.

I'm not exactly nervous, but I did want to make sure I was prepared.... too bad I wasn't.

I don't know what is wrong with me?!

I was up late last night with the party but made sure to sleep in this morning. I set the alarm for 10am... yeah I know 10am.... but I was up until 3am so that really isn't so crazy.

I woke up made some coffee and decided to relax and catch up on some tv. I had plenty of time to get ready and I was doing pretty well, until I realized I needed a few things for the shoot.

I didn't have the address printed anywhere but I knew it was in the email in my phone so it shouldn't be a problem getting to it and putting it into my GPS.

Well it wouldn't have been difficult except I did a software upgrade 2 nights ago and everything is organized differently now.

So there I was racing to the beauty store for blotting papers and hairspray, while trying to go through 60 emails to find the one with the address in it, so I know which freeway to get on.

I popped into the store and immediately asked for help finding what I needed. I'm sure the worker there was a bit annoyed with me but I really didn't care. I needed help, and I was giving them money and it's not like I was being rude.

On the way out to the car I found the email... jackpot! I immediately got the directions and jetted the 30 miles to the shoot location.

When I arrived my photographer was already there and getting to work. I chatted with the client and we got down to business.

All in all it went really well. I think we've got some great video, the script is good, and she did a great job on camera.

About half way through she handed me a check, and I looked at it and realized the amount is what we agreed upon for the rest of the crew and it didn't include my portion.

I didn't quite know what to do?! I am so bad with confrontation and it is my first job so I am unfamiliar with how to handle these situations so I just took the check and put it in a safe place and decided I would deal with it all later.

I came home and went through my emails thinking maybe there was a miscommunication and she thought it was one fee for the entire project but I think I was pretty clear, although not as clear as I could have been which is a good lesson to learn.

So now comes the confrontation, luckily she sent me an email thanking me for the wonderful experience so I feel like there is an opening.

Now I just have to put on my big girl panties and do it.

I called the BFF to get her help with the wording on the email. Her fiancee just left town and she's sad. We talked and caught up for a while and during the conversation I I told her about crying to the Kelly Clarkson song.

She immediately busted out laughing... I believe her response was 'Kelly Clarkson?! That's hysterical!' My thoughts exactly.

I can always count on her to laugh with me in these situations. She's great at helping me see I can't take myself too seriously.

We had a great conversation and as badly as I feel for her with her fiancee leaving, it's a great opportunity for us to spend some quality time together before she gets married. Something I plan on taking full advantage of while I have the chance.

Day 129: It's time to 'Breakaway'

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

-Kelly Clarkson 'Breakaway'

I've heard this song thousands of times and for some reason today the words struck me in a much different way, sending a shockwave through my system.

It was as if a cloud had been lifted and a message was being sent directly to me.

'Out of the darkness and into the sun'.... yes I've been living in sadness, although I am better than before I'm still not where I should be... 'make a change and break away'.... just like the tag on my shirt on New Year's Day (39-Turn The Corner)....

'I won't forget the place I come from'... 'I won't forget all the ones that I love'... Mr. Wonderful will always be a part of my life, and I don't want to ever forget how devastating that was and how precious life is.

Every word seemed specific to me and my situation.

All of the sudden, out of no where, uncontrollable tears started to pour out of my eyes. I DO need to make a change and beak away. It's been far too long.

I have always liked the song, because it reminded me of leaving my small hometown and moving away, but I've never had this type of extreme emotional reaction to it.

I was a big wake up call, now I just need to figure out 'how' to do it. It is amazing the power of song and how it can impact our lives.

Later that night I headed to another party hosted by the New Year's Eve party hosts.

In the back of my brain I had the Cinderella story line, where she lost the shoe at the 2nd ball, and met the prince, but wasn't convinced anything was going to happen.

There were a few of the same people at the party, but it was mostly a lot of people I used to work with, and some current co-workers.

At one point I ran into the guy who nearly bent over to see if I was wearing a wedding ring. He introduced himself again and we chatted for a while.

He's certainly not my typical type but in the back of my brain I kept thinking about Cinderella and meeting the prince twice and then losing her shoe.

Could this guy be Prince Charming? Nah... surely not.

I just don't think I see myself with him, but then again sometimes the universe knows better than we do.

During our conversation I found out he went to the same college and Mr. Wonderful and share the same profession.

Who knows what it all means, maybe absolutely nothing at all.

But I do feel like I need to schedule an appointment with the tea leaf reader.... or the love psychic.

One of my friends recently told me about her. Evidently she is a psychic but she has a 98% accuracy rate when it comes to love.

It could be worth a shot, but then again... I revert back to my original thoughts on having too much information instead of just letting life and love just happen.

Day 130: The birthday seed has been planted

It's Friday and it is time for a low key day.

There will be no extra effort put into my look, because it's been a very long week filled with sick co-workers, and extra work on additional projects.

I woke up and decided a ponytail was my best option for the day. I pulled me hair up and checked for stray hairs in the back and was shocked at what I saw staring back at me in the mirror.

It was a giant stripe of gray hair. I did a double take and got up close to make sure it wasn't just blonde and the light was hitting it the wrong way.... nope!

It was like I had turned into Elvira overnight. Seriously??

I started turning gray on top a few years ago and I've got that covered. I'm sure it has been happening underneath for a while but my fabulous stylist has just been taking care of it without me knowing.

Time for plan 'b'. Leave the hair down, and to quote fashion guru Tim Gunn just 'make it work'.

Once at work I talked briefly with the Spa Girl about my upcoming birthday. She asked if I had any idea what I was going to do and I told her I had absolutely no idea.

She is right though. I really need to get crack-a-lackin' on planning my party.

Do I do a big party with everyone in my rolodex? Or do I go small and just do a small group of my 'besties' at a resort? Maybe a mix of the two? I could do a weekend 'staycation' at a local resort with the small group and then have a big party that night.

As I looked at the calendar I realized my birthday falls on a Sunday this year. This could be perfect!

Instead of a birthday party I could have a 'Staring Down 40' party on Saturday. It would be so appropriate considering what happened when I turned 30... freaking out the night before and realizing it would be the last few hours in that decade of my life.

I like it! Now I just need to think of a theme, and a venue and get the details in place.

Maybe this gray hair isn't that bad after all? I think it makes me 'wiser'... not that I'm willing to share that tidbit with the world. It will be my little secret strength, like a mini-superhero.

Day 131: The cougar theory

My morning came to a screeching halt at Starbucks.

I stopped in for my usual coffee, and breakfast sandwich. It started when they told me they stopped carrying the one with ham.

Ok I can live with that, as long as there is still bacon, and there is.

They rang up my order and I gave them my debit card like every other day I go in there... but today it was different... it was declined. My $4 transaction was declined! I was baffled. How could my $4 transaction be declined?

I laughed, and joked with the guy at the cash register 'I'm sure I've got 4 bucks in my account that's weird? But if I don't I guess I have much bigger problems.'

Thankfully I had some cash today.

I hopped in my car and immediately got on the phone to call the bank and check my balance. Maybe I paid my mortgage twice or some other glitch in my bill paying caught up with me unknowingly.

The automated system picked up and immediately transferred me to the fraud department.

O-K? I was starting to get concerned.

After talking to the gal on the phone evidently someone tried to use my card on an $8 purchase on Overstock.com.

Strange that would be flagged for any reason but I guess it was.

Back at work I tried not to think of someone spending all the money in my account in $8 increments, and it was pretty easy because 2 people were out sick so there was a lot to keep me busy.

At one point the hottie young cub reporter walked past my desk and saw me eating some red, green and white jelly beans. He said he has been in a mint mood recently and asked if they were mint flavored.

They were not but we shared our love of mint before he walked away.

On the drive home I was thinking about that interaction and I had a bit of an epiphany about why there may be so many cougars these days.... and perhaps why I could fall into that trap rather easily.

Keep in mind I'm no psychiatrist but this seems like a pretty good theory to me.

I don't think older women are seeking out younger guys because they are younger and cuter and all the other reasons one could think of... I think it's because older women don't realize how old they really are.

Well, technically we know, but I've found as I get older I still find myself mentally feeling like I'm 22 years old.

I've said it over and over again.

So when you feel that young inside, and your with a guy who is in that age range it feels perfectly normal.

I think it's genius... and I think I should contact some fabulous research group and share my findings to see if they can duplicate it in a study somehow.

Whether I'm right or wrong doesn't really matter to me. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to land in Bobcat-ville again... notice I didn't say 'never'. ;)

Day 132: Like it or not.. it's coming

Is there no respite for those of us who are single?

We are barely through the holidays, where we have spent every waking hour with our families waiting for them to ask us about our love life, or seeing happy couples in all their holiday glory on every street corner and in every store.

Not to mention the 'magic' that surrounds this time of year from gifts and mistletoe to that oh so important New Year's Eve kiss that will determine our future for what some would think is year's to come.

After being bombarded with all of this for the past 3 months, we are now faced with yet another challenge.

Just a few days out of the holiday season, with barely enough time to adjust to regular schedules and normal lives, I am seeing it start to creep in.

This time the assault is coming in the form of pink and red hearts, candy, and teddy bears... even tennis shoes! Yes, the Valentine's Day marketing has begun and it's everywhere.

It's like Cupid and Hello Kitty are having a yard sale, and their goodies are up for grabs at every retail location on the planet and even a few street corners if you live in the right part of town.

Even at work, the emails are starting to come in and they are guest ideas related to Valentine's Day. If they can find a way to tie in toilets and pest control they will, even though both are bad... bad... ideas. There are some things that should just not be associated with this holiday.

But like it or not, it is coming and myself and the legions of other single people are going to have to deal with it for the next 6 weeks.

It's like seeing a ball heading your way and knowing it is going to hit you, but you can't escape fast enough.

Day 133: The world's gone crazy.. or maybe it's just me

I feel like the world has gone crazy.

I'm on a diet, making breakfast before work (unheard of), the Coffee Fairy is not drinking our favorite caffeinated beverage, birds are falling out of the sky, my cats are acting absolutely bonkers, and I may have my first 'official' video production client.

What is going on?? I hardly believe this life I'm leading at the moment, it seems so foreign to me but I'll take it because change is good... right??

Up until now I've only been playing around, doing some side video projects for friends to keep myself busy and keep the creativity flowing, but today it's the real deal.

A friend of a friend needs a commercial... last minute... really last minute... and my friend referred her to me as if I've done this before.

Sure I've been working in tv for 16 years, but I've never done any work outside of a traditional station so this is unchartered water.

I thought about saying no and passing it on but then threw caution to the wind and said 'what the heck?!' No pain.. no gain.

Sure I've got a million other things on my plate right now but what is one more.... I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Not to mention, if ever there was a place to start, this is it.

This lady is new to the commercial world so there will be no comparing me to anyone else, and that also gives me the opportunity to give her the best product and service possible so she has a great experience to remember me by... and maybe even refer me for other projects.

So I talked to the gal and gave her my 'last minute' rate, agreeing to make some calls and see what I could do to get this thing made in say... 4 days.

Crap! What am I thinking? 4 days to schedule a camera crew, and editor, oh yeah.. and also get the commercial shot and edited... that's absolutely insane!

There is also no better way to go into something like this. Quick and easy, down and dirty, baptism by fire. From this point on, all of them will seem like a cake walk.

All day I've been really good about sticking to the diet, but as soon as I hit crisis mode... it was all over.

Out came the wine, ok, so I was planning to have a glass with dinner anyway, but the pop chips, mint m & m's, and the last remaining turtle? Now they certainly weren't on the agenda or the diet.

Oh well, I started strong, and there's no reason I can't get back on the wagon tomorrow, except that I am going to happy hour with Mr. Wonderful's mom.

Why do I do this to myself? Any opportunity to break from the diet and I jump on it. It's probably because it's not that detrimental that I actually follow through, as long as my metabolism holds out I guess.

There is that irrational fear (at least I hope it's irrational) that as soon as I hit the big 4-0 all that is going to change.

Some switch is going to flip in my body and all of the sudden without warning everything I eat will go immediately to my hips and thighs and I will balloon up to the size of a house.

Ok so I guess that was a bit irrational, I suppose it will happen a little more slowly than that.

Day 134: My first diet...

For the past few weeks I've been eating pretty much everything that see and can get my hands on.... candy turtles... cheese and crackers... summer sausage... steak... green bean casserole.... omelets... mint m&m's... you name it I've shoved it in my gullet.

I've been a glutton and that's exactly what the holidays are all about.

I, however, may have taken things a little too far.

After eating I don't know how many pounds of cheese leading up to my trip home, I downed plateful after plateful of down home cooking, and when I returned? I ate a large pizza in 2 days, which means I either need to go shopping or try to fit back into some of the jeans I already have.

That seems to be the logical... not to mention economical decision so here I go, it's time to settle down and lose some of these holiday pounds.

One of my resolutions is to get in shape by the big birthday, but since I haven't started that I might as well at least try to do something else until I can work the Encourager into my schedule... and hers.

I was looking through Prevention magazine for good recipes, and voila! A 3 day holiday detox diet... perfect!

I can do that... it's 3 days and everything in it is something I and am willing to eat, not to mention it's a lot of food which is also a good thing.

So I sat down and made my grocery list, then I reorganized it so I could whip through the store with the ease of a hot knife through butter. Ooooohhhh butter... too bad that's not on the list, or anywhere on the diet that would be good.

I bought nothing that I didn't need for the diet.... that's 3 days... and when I checked out the cash register said $69.95. What?!

It's food for 3 days! Sure there's enough to eat beyond that, but I was stunned. It's not like I bought 3 pounds of chicken, and 4 pounds of salmon, it was fruits, veggies, bread, yogurt, you get the picture. Crazy!

The worst part is I don't remember the last time I spent that much money at the grocery store and there wasn't at least one bottle of wine in the mix.

But I have committed to it, so it's time to just buck up and do it. I can do this... I will do this... it's only 3 days and maybe just maybe I can fit into my old jeans when I'm through.

I've never really dieted, so I kind of felt like I was eating my last supper tonight, even though I tried to keep it healthy with roasted vegetables, and baked salmon with a parmesan crust, and of course a glass of wine for good measure. It will be a few days before I can have one again.

It was all absolutely delicious. Then I got to work preparing the next days meals, and I have to say there's a lot of food and I can't help but think I think I can do this.

So here I go, my first diet.

Day 135: Interpreting Cinderella

If the Tea Leaf reader is right, and I have every reason to believe she is, then I am Cinderella.

Since I just went through the midnight experience of New Year's Eve and had the Cinderella quote connection with the hostess and nothing happened I decided to check into the story a little more closely for a better clue, and surprise... I'm still lost.

Sure we all know Cinderella lost her shoe at the ball and Prince Charming came to find her, but what were the more subtle underlying messages of the story? I had to know to help me figure it out, or at least give me a clue.

After further review of the story I was reminded Cinderella was a hard worker, and her step-sisters treated her badly, ok... check. That fits right in with my work situation up until a few months ago, and that is when I had the tea leaf reading.

But there had to be more... so I kept reading. There are several different accounts, and one of them has Cinderella attending two balls.

In the first the Prince was taken with her but didn't get her name, the next night he held another ball and that is the one where she left in a hurry leaving the glass slipper behind.

Well, that doesn't really fit. There was no one glued to my side, and there was no second party. So the literal take on it is out.

Now to the figurative aspects... it could mean anything! Crap!

From gaining recognition or success after a period where your accomplishments have gone unnoticed... to a payoff for being gracious and kind hearted.

I'm still completely lost, and probably will be until 6 months after it happens and I look back and figure it all out.

Although if I had to guess I would go back to my earlier prediction that Prince Charming could be coming in the form of cash.

Every form of a dollar has a man on it, and I have been working really hard especially the past 6 months... so hopefully there will be a raise in my future.

But... for the record... I would certainly prefer a handsome Prince. The tea leaf reader did definitely lean that way in the reading, saying 'oh he's really close. He is going to treat you like a princess and you will have everything you want.'

In my research I found that Cinderella's mother died, which makes sense with the step-mother, but it was a detail I had forgotten. In one version her father also dies leaving her only with her step-mother and step-sisters.

While reading that, I came across a quote that resonated with me.... "No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true... "

That's encouraging... even if I don't live in a fairy tale.

It was a day full of Cinderella, early in the afternoon the Pixie sent me a text. All it had was a picture... and a smiley face.



'One shoe can change your life' - Cinderella

Oh that Cinderella..... she was one smart cookie.

Now if only she could tell me what her story means to my life.

Day 136: New year... new beginning?

Once again I woke up to Colbie Caillat's 'Bubbly' song on the radio, it was Mr. Wonderful and my song, and it was a nice way to start 2011.

It happens quite a bit but today it was different, I had no idea there was a greater message in store.

As I was getting ready I decided to try on the first shirt I bought yesterday. It's always easier to grab the last thing you bought instead of finding something in the closet to wear.

I put it on and checked myself out. I wasn't quite sure if I liked it or not, so I messed around with it a little bit.

Still not convinced I looked at the tag to jog my memory about the cost, so I could weigh the benefits of keeping it.

When I looked down I actually read the tag. Who does that? I certainly don't... at least most days I don't.

I have absolutely no idea why I looked at anything other than the price, but I did and what I saw threw me for a bit of a loop.

It was as if it was a tailor made message for me. '39 - turn the corner'



Seriously? On New Year's Day?? It seems like the universe is telling me something.

Does the rest of the world get these little messages or is it just me?

Maybe everyone gets them but they don't pay attention, or they just don't know how to interpret them.

In fact, I'm not quite sure how to interpret it. Sure, I know it means I need to get over the hump to make a change but beyond that I have no idea.

What corner? Where am I supposed to turn? Right or left? What change am I supposed to make? In love? In work?

I'm guessing it's a change for love, since I got the song message to start the day, so now I just need to do it.

Oh yeah... first I have to figure out how.