Day 154: The dreamy beach house

Today I went into work and I had an email from the Coffee Fairy.

It read as follows:

I dreamt that a long distance cousin willed her estate to you. Why? She shared the same name as you.
It wasn't huge but it was a cute beach cottage somewhere in Cali.
You went out there to live, taught surfing lessons, working part time.
I, of course, leeached on to you and was working as a belly dancer instructor on the beach.
There were lots of cats in the cute beach cottage.
We were both happy and tan.
The end.

It sounded like the perfect plan... the only thing missing was a perfectly tan and muscular surfing instructor who would hang out with us, fan us and feed us frozen grapes! I had to laugh at the dream... it makes me smile.

Meanwhile I'm struggling again with the age thing. Once again I know my age. I know who I should and shouldn't be dating, but I'm realizing I'm eliminating a lot of guys I could be dating because I think they are too old.

I'm looking around at guys who are in my age 'range' and I have to say what is happening in the world?

The guys who are in their 40's that I've met recently seem really... really... old. I just can't see myself with them in any way, shape or form. I'm a young, vibrant, woman full of energy and exuberance. They just seem old to me.

Perhaps I'm just living my own mid-life crisis, but I don't think so. I deserve to be with someone who is young and hot... ok looks young and is hot.

I don't need another trip to bobcat-ville. While I enjoyed it for a quick weekend vacation, it's not where i want to buy a home for the rest of my life.

I also can't wrap my head around guys who are in their mid 30's. They are either too damaged from a previous relationship or they have been bachelors for so long they're stuck with a 20-something mentality... what's a girl to do?!

Well, I don't know about most girls but this girl texted the wine guy.

Sure, I realize he broke up with me a week ago, but he did text me on Friday night. Not that makes it right.

The reason I texted him was not to try to get him back, it was simply a peace offering. An olive branch to show there are no hard feelings.

Besides, I'm riding a wave of happiness and I just felt like I should touch base with him.

Also because he's driving to Canada tomorrow and I wanted to say 'have a nice trip'.

We started a brief texting conversation and I have to say after 20 minutes of pretty average chatter I cut it short and said goodnight.

It's not like I didn't enjoy it, it just wasn't as stimulating as I would have liked.

I realize it's difficult to get into an in depth conversation in 160 characters or less, unless you're really crafty I suppose, but there could have been more substance for sure.

I'm also sure there was some awkwardness because of the breakup, but whatever.... that's the past. That was so last week ;)

It doesn't mean we can't talk about something other than what wine we were each drinking that night, but alas, we did not.... and that's fine.

It is what it is... and if it's meant to be... it will be. Is there one more cliche statement I can throw in there? Nah... I won't go down that path.

I'm not sure anything has changed between the two of us, it's more that something inside me has changed and I want more.