Day 152: The matchmaker (part 2?)

Every day starts with work so it only makes sense that there is the possibility I will find love there.

I've dated at least one guy who came on the show, and it didn't work of course, but it is a good place to network and meet people so you never know.

Not that I'm using my job as a dating service, that would be wrong. But if a handsome young doctor happens to come on the show, of course I'm going to get my 'flirt' on.

For some reason though everyone I work with seems to be on a mission to find me a husband. (Which by the way is still really hard for me to write.) and we have a golden opportunity.

We are helping to promote a local bachelor/bachelorette contest here in town and part of what they will win is a consult with a local matchmaker.

All of the sudden from behind me at work I hear the Cheerleader say 'we need to find someone to go through the matchmaker process' so we can tape it and put it in the show.... and then it got silent.

I knew they were all looking at me.... 'oh crap' I thought to myself.

It's all fine and dandy that they want me to be a part of it, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in having a matchmaker set me up with a wealthy man... I am Cinderella for goodness sake... but putting it on tv?? really?

Come on guys, isn't dating hard enough as it is without a camera being shoved in your face??

I don't need someone documenting me getting crumbs all over the table at dinner, the very... very... awkward end of the first date, and everything in between.

As if that wasn't enough, there is yet another problems with this plan.

The guys recording it are like my brothers.

Would you really want your brother looking over your shoulder while you were on a date? Or even meeting with a matchmaker?? Especially knowing your entire dating life is going to be put on display for the world to see?

I can already hear them laughing at me, in a kind and gentle way of course, knowing it is meant with love.

My mind was racing as my boss came out of his office, then the Cheerleader asked him if it would be ok for me to be a part of it... he said 'yeah if it's fun lets do it'

And somehow, for some reason, despite everything going through my head about being on tape, etc., etc. I still agreed.

What in the world was I thinking???

How am I going to be myself knowing there is a camera turned on me? 'Rock of Love', 'Flavor of Love' even the 'Bachelorette' I know I live in the age of reality tv, but this is so not my life... or is it?

This is so unlike me! It's kind of freaky to me that I've made such a 180 about feeling anxious and nervous about these kind of things, but I know it's happening because it is supposed to.

A year ago as my friends say... I was sprinting the other direction when a camera turned toward me.... now it certainly doesn't cause as much of a concern.

Part of that is the Girlfriend University, where I learned the fear of what lies ahead is never as bad as what you think it may be and I also learned it's just ok to be who you are.

We are all the same deep down so why get so worked up about what other people think of you?? If they have a problem with me, then they are not people I care about.