Day 209: Oh the predicaments

As I was getting ready for work I heard my phone go off.

I immediately thought it was someone from work, because the timing was right on the money.

I was really, really trying to get to work on time today so I didn't immediately go look at it. I figured I would look at it on my way into work.

But of course like a kid on Christmas I couldn't wait so I ran out into the living room while I was brushing my teeth to see who it was.

It was the wine guy saying 'good morning'. It's funny how something so small can brighten your day.

When I got into work today Sunshine asked about dinner last night, so I filled her in on all of the either natural or manufactured awkwardness.

It's how you look at things and react to them that makes the difference, but what's done is done. I was awkward because it felt awkward to me and that's that. There's no going back there's no changing it.

Adding to it all, late afternoon I received an email from the PR gal from last night.

During the dinner I had asked who some of her other clients were, in hopes of keeping the conversation alive.

Since my relationship with her is strictly professional that's the route I took.

She mentioned a few clients that piqued my interest and today she sent me an email to see if we could get them on the show.

It's all perfectly logical.

The email read, 'what a nice surprise to see you at the dinner last night. I hope you had a nice time.'

Ok, there is nothing wrong with the words, but in my head all I can think about is her seeing us kissing by the car in the parking lot.

Yeah, sure I had a nice time.... but then again I guess you probably already know that don't you? Ugh!

Then there's my response back... 'yes thank you. It was nice to see you too. I had a good time.'

Well, of course I did, I'm pretty sure she knows that after her trip to her car.

How in the world do I get myself into these predicaments?

Maybe they're only predicaments because I make them that way. I should just own the fact that I was kissing in the parking lot. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's not illegal. Hey some people probably wish they could go back 20 years and return to high school and do those kinds of things!

So that's it. That's where I stand with it. I'm down with it and I don't care. It happened and that's all there is to it. Easy to say because I know the worst is over at this point.

What's funny is the place where I get awkward is when work and personal collide, but I should take a work approach to my personal life and be confident and not worry about everything else.

If only it were all that easy.

As much as I'd like to think as you get older you stop thinking about those things (because that's what I've been told) I also believe a lot of it is ingrained in you to a certain extent.

I guess one thing is for sure, I am living it up in the last months in my 30's.