Day 250: Losing it!

Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match... the Cheerleader called today to let me know she met a matchmaker who is trying to set up 2 different guys.

She said 'great! That's aweseome! I know a 40 year old girl who is looking to be matched too!' I immediately set her straight on one very important fact... 'I am not 40!'.

She said 'I just want you to be the same age as me.' Ha ha... funny... I don't!

But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in the matchmaking angle.

I know there's more to it than just finding two single people so here's hoping maybe it will work out.

I suppose I can't rule out any option at this point. That said, I'm not going to settle either. I would never let that happen, or at least I'd like to think I wouldn't.

My mother's voice keeps going through my head 'it never hurts to make a friend' and 'is there a boyfriend or special person in your life?'

I've heard both statements off and on for the past decade... at the very least. I love her to death and I know she only has the best of intentions, but in my head I always think to myself 'mom, if there was anyone worth telling you about you would know'... and that's the truth.

Most of my relationships don't last very long so there's no point even talking about them until they get to at least the 4 month mark. But that's not to say it will always be that way.

I really think I need someone who will force me to be a little out of control because I do like it. Today after work I was thinking about that same thing of course on a different level.

I was 'stage 2: anger' today. I don't know what it was that set me off, but it... set.. me... off... and by the end of the day I was ready to chuck it all and call in sick for about a week.

But of course I know I won't ever do it, because I'm concerned everything won't get done, which means I need to let go of some control.

So there it is in a nutshell I'm a control freak. I know it, and I'm working on it. I need to stop worrying about everything and just roll with it, because the stress is going to kill me.

Problem is.. if I don't worry about it no one will and then things will fall through the cracks and cause us more problems down the road. At what point can you say, it's not my problem anymore? In my world... never. It always falls on the producer, which is an occupational hazzard I'm well aware of.

I need some major stress relieving maneuvers, unfortunately in my world right now that pretty much equates to yoga, food and drinking.

Tonight I eased the pain with a dozen hot wings, and Longboard Lager. I feel like I should be laying on the couch with the remote in one hand and my hand down my pants like Al Bundy in 'Married With Children'.

I'm sure I'll pay for this tomorrow. I feel like everyday of my life right now I'm saying 'who are you?!'

A nice vacation would be great to get away from it all too, but I'm not sure where to go or when I'll find the time to get there.

I get the Travelzoo top 20 picks of the week and there are always a few that pique my interest.

On the horizon now... a Jimmy Buffett concert in Vegas... and one in Paris. Vegas plays second fiddle to Paris which has replaced seeing him in the Caribbean since I knocked it off my bucket list a few years ago.

Maybe I'll spend Saturday on a virtual vacation.... with Jimmy Buffett... and some boat drinks. Who's with me?!