It's funny, I've had psychics/mediums tell me before that I would find love again and it would happen when I'm 40.
But for some reason, this latest tea leaf reading has me a bit stunned.
I started going to the psychics/mediums after Mr. Wonderful died, looking for any sort of solace.
I guess I should say they sort of just 'turned up' and found me.
It started as kind of a fluke. It was employee appreciation day (I'm noticing a theme) a few months after he passed, and instead of a tea leaf reader there was a palm reader.
One of the girls at work told me I needed to get in with him, based off her previous experiences and so I went.
He started reading my palm, and asked if I had been married and then the waterworks started. I couldn't hold back the tears. He asked what was going on and I told him. Little did I know he was also a medium.
He took a moment to concentrate and try to communicate with the other world, then a few really random things happened. Things that turned this skeptical journalist into a true believer.
First, he mentioned the name of Mr. Wonderful's best friend (there is no way he could have known or pulled the name out of the air), and also said Mr. Wonderful was greeted by an elderly woman when he crossed over.
Mr. Wonderful's 13 year old dog, who was his baby, passed away a few days earlier. I have no doubt she was there to greet him.
He also told me I would find love again.
A few months later Mr. Wonderful's mother and I had the opportunity to go to a conference with a lot of powerful speakers discussing life changing topics.
One of them was James Van Praagh, one of the world's most renowened mediums. And we were lucky enough to get a reading in a group setting. When it was over, we jumped in the book signing line.
As we approached James to sign the books, he told me I would marry again and it would happen when I was 40. At the time it was no consolation, and while it stuck in the back of my head I don't dwell on it even as I approach the momentous birthday.
I would have another encounter with James about a year later, and again he told me Mr. Wonderful loved me very much and I would find love again.
There were also a few tarot card readers thrown into the mix, and they all say the same thing... unsolicited. It just seems to be the focus whether I bring it up or not.
It's not like I don't think it will happen, it's just hard to think anyone could ever live up to Mr. Wonderful. They... whoever they are... have some pretty big shoes to fill, and I have to let them do it.
Even with all of that knowledge, and preparation I'm still sitting here kind of freaking out that I might actually find love again in the next few months.
It's strange. I thought I was at a place where I was ready, I've been a crazy dating fool hoping it would happen, but now I'm starting to question whether I'm ready.
I feel like there's so many things I need to do and accomplish before it happens. Kind of like the feeling of making sure your legs are shaved before your first date but on a much grander scale.
Like the craziness of the rush before a vacation, or packing up your home and moving to a different city with a few weeks notice.
Sure it is a life changing moment, but it's not like I need to DO anything. It's not like my life will change overnight. These things take time to develop and it could happen anytime between now and June. Thats a lot of time!
I'm acting like there's some guy who is going to walk up to me and say 'Hi, I'm your future husband. Let's date for a while and then get married.'
What is wrong with me?! I'm sure I won't even know when it happens, or I will try to control it all because of course I will know better than the universe what is right for me.
In fact I'm doing it already. The Encourager is trying to set me up with a guy, we'll call him Superman.
She sent me a picture, and when I look at him I think he looks like my brother. Yikes! I can't do that! I love my brother but that's just creepy!
But I'm also hesitant because of the tea leaf reading. What if he is the guy? Of course, if he is, what am I going to do about it? What's going to happen is going to happen, and I should just go with the flow.
My God I'm so absolutely neurotic! This is insane! I'm going out with Superman whether he looks like my brother or not. Done.
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