Day 359: The Necklace

Today was eye opening for me.

I didn't realize how much one tiny thing has been holding me back.

I have been wearing a necklace my last boyfriend, the love of my life, my Mr. Wonderful gave me. It was the last gift I received from him before he passed away from cancer 2 years ago.

It was a journey necklace symbolizing our life together and to me, that didn't stop when he died.

I thought I would continue wearing it until I started dating someone seriously, but after this last birthday and the beginning of this blog I decided I needed to make some changes.

Not wearing the necklace was one of them.

Since I haven't been wearing it I have felt a little lighter, and little happier and maybe even less guilty.

I know that sounds weird, but for some reason I guess I felt I owed it to him. As long as I still had him in my heart I had to wear the necklace.

But I know he will always be in my heart, whether I'm with someone new or not, and whether I'm wearing the necklace or not.

I also realized the necklace was a subconscious security blanket that has been holding me back from finding someone new.

I'm not ready to put it away just yet, so it still stares at me every morning when I get ready.... a small reminder as I set out on my day.

Baby steps... on the road to healing.